Addiction Recovery Stories
Weekly Step Breakdown With Bobby And Joey – Step 1
Bobby Wall, Wakefield, Massachusetts
05 May 2018
Step 1 | We admitted we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. How do we do this? Are our lives truly unmanageable? Bobby and Joey, both alumni’s of The Lake Shore Retreat and now employees, share their viewpoints on this very important step in addiction recovery and how it has impacted their lives.
Bobby and Joey both discuss what their step 1 experience means to them in the video below. Step 1 is a vital and important step in the Twelve Steps and is commonly misunderstood. For a long time, I was misinformed by the misinformed. For a long time, I never really understood the true meaning of the first step.
Weekly Step Break Down With Bobby And Joey – Step 1
“After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again.”
Now understanding step 1 as being a problem while in active addiction AND while sober I was finally able to seek out the proper solution to recover from the disease of addiction. A majority of our issue is in sobriety, not while actively using. The problem isn’t the first drink or drug, it’s the mental twist, the mental obsession that makes my thoughts not respond to reason and I have no defense against this until my thoughts are restored to sanity through the Twelve Steps and I have a complete psychic change.
What is a mental obsession? A reoccurring or persistent thought that doesn’t respond to logic or reason. I always had all the ‘reasons’ in the world not to get drunk or high again but as stated above… the mental obsession does NOT respond to reason. I know I will lose everything, my family, my son, my job possibly even my life, but once I am in the mental obsession, I am defenseless & powerless against the first drink or drug. Lack of power is our dilemma.
Down below it explains the disease model of addiction and alcoholism. It explains exactly what we as alcoholics and drug addicts suffer from. It breaks down the mental obsession (mind), the body (Allergy\Phenonmenon of craving) and the spirit (restless, irritable and discontent) or R.I.D for short.
Lake Shore Retreat Disease Model
Photograph by Bobby Wall via FaceBook
So for the body part of the disease, it explains that we have an allergy to drugs and alcohol. That once I put any substance into my body, I can’t stop. I almost instantly have a desperate desire for more. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it states “This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity.” – Doctor’s Opinion, p.xxx.
What is an allergy? An abnormal reaction. My body reacts differently than a ‘normal’ persons does. The best way I can put it is this, and I say this a lot when speaking at commitments, the allergy feels like when I am dehydrated and need a drink, my body craves water or liquid. So when I put a substance into my body, my body reacts the same way as if I were dehydrated, but instead of water, I crave more substances.
Next is the third part of this disease which is the spiritual malady. The best way I can explain this is I am never satisfied with life when I am sober and don’t have a solution in my life. I am always discontent, people need to walk on eggshells around me because they aren’t sure what type of ‘mood’ I am in. I am always restless, my legs are going a thousand miles a second, I can’t sit with myself or others and I isolate. Down below we explain the spree they refer to in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that most of us get stuck in unless we find a power greater than ourselves.
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